Sunday, September 16, 2012

Informed but inactive

We live in the age of information. We have access to widespread information to every daily newspaper, radio show, television show at our fingertips via the internet. We can look up scholarly papers, journal articles, books, documentaries, amongst other media, on basically any topic we wish. We should be the most informed public ever.

There seems to be this great ideal that people desire to take action when they hear about a certain catastrophe, to mobilize in unity for a cause as information is disseminated across the globe. Indeed, this is the reason why many journalists investigate and report, why writers write, why documentary filmmakers film, why charities send flyers about their needs and global disasters. Maybe I am cynical, but I am wondering where the change-makers are now.

There is little else more frustrating than the ironies I often find myself in, listening to conversations about helping the poor, about the injustices in the world, about how children are killing people as part of the military, about the lack of love and selflessness and generosity, and then just sitting there. It seems a bit conflicting for me.

You see, I am just as guilty as everyone else. I get angry about these things. I rant about them. But what right do I have to do so? What right? Here I am, sitting at my fancy laptop, writing down my worries right now, and I don't deserve to. I don't deserve my full and satisfied belly. I don't deserve my extensive wardrobe that allows me to wear a different shirt everyday. I don't deserve my cellphone. I don't deserve the Masters education that I've been given. I don't deserve my family and friends, and perfect unfettered life. All of these are my luxuries - they are the products of an unchallenged life that has never fully had to trust in God for everything she's been given. I am a spoiled, frightened little girl that is unwilling to give up her daily comforts to trust in God's provisions and actually do something.

I recognize that I can do something in the place I am now. I certainly can. But I often question whether or not I have been called to something much greater - or lesser - however you wish to view it. Or do I continue in the patterns of this world, and never question the fact that God called me to give up everything and follow Him? Is that what I am doing with my life right now? Or am I lying to comfort myself that it is okay to live the way I do in my comfortable Western life - whether or not I complain, I am still living at this standard - and continue in it?

Sometimes, I think about what Jesus did on the cross. He gave up everything, he endured the greatest pain - a pain that He asked God to take away from him if possible - and followed God's will anyway. Because He loved me that much. And I think about the fact that I have trouble praying in front of my non-Christian friends because I fear offending them. And I am ashamed that I am so below His grace and love, as He paid the ultimate cost, while I can barely pay the very simple ones.

If faith is the embodiment of belief through obedience and action, then I must take up my cross and follow Christ, the one who paid everything so that I could follow despite my weakness. Now the time comes to actually do something, rather than simply say that I will and never follow through.

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