Sigh No More, Mumford and Sons

I thought this was really beautiful and wanted to share:

"Serve God, love me and mend
This is not the end
Lived unbruised, we are friends
And I'm sorry
I'm sorry

Sigh no more, no more
One foot in sea and one on shore
My heart was never pure
And you know me
You know me

But man is a giddy thing

Love it will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be
There is a design, an alignment, a cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be "

To my instinctive, and yet, completely irrational self

So today the garbage truck came early. And that's when things got messy. It goes without saying I was still in my pjs and my hair was as frizzy as could be. Nonetheless, I decided that the garbage and compost needed to go out, and figuring that I wouldn't know anyone on the street walking by, or wouldn't really care, except for this one guy that I have a secret crush on, I figured my odds were good. I hopped out the door with my radiant blue pants on, brown boots with holes in them, and a mighty winter jacket to hide the fact that I was not wearing a bra, and made my way towards the sidewalk.

I looked both ways down the street just to make sure that there was no one there. first side, clear. phew. By this point, i'm almost at the end of the driveway. Unfortunately, when I looked the other way, that one guy that I have a little crush on is walking towards me.

Horrified, I dropped the garbage and compost where I was standing and literally ran back down the driveway and dashed into the house in record time. I then continue my hilarity by looking out the window to see if he noticed. Looks like I'm safe. Of course, those brillant blue pants with the word "CANDY" written across my bum are hard to miss.

Oh sigh. I think it would have been better to run away facing forwards.

Feeling Kind of Lonely

Funny how there can be people all around me, how these people can be the kindest and sweetest people ever - how they can have the biggest smiles and greatest laughs, and yet I can still feel alone.

I think I need a hug and someone who will let me use their shoulder as a towel for my tears. I don't feel like I've had quite the sense of closure I needed after my grandfather's death. It's very easy for me to hide any of my sadness or sorrow behind a mask of cheerfulness, something that I'm pretty darn good at doing. I'm good at hiding sad things with laughter and a smile. But inside, I'm still not healed - or I'm not sure if I really want to deal with it yet.

I sure could use a hug right about now.