Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Oh Happy Day!

I am more often in a pensive mood rather than happy mood when I write my blogs, so I decided that I would write this one in my joyous mood, lol.

It certainly is a Happy Day, despite the fact that I have so much to do and have mid-terms approaching quicker than lightening. But I feel like singing!! hahaha. What a joy it is to simply know that God is here, to know that I can trust Him with anything! Pure Bliss! It`s better than a bran muffin. Ha! (Psst. Why is it that I compare everything to food? I've got to figure out something better... but it takes so much of the humour out of it! lol)

Rain is beautiful, isn't it? The smell of the earth right after it's soaked up all the wet dew and the fresh clean air that surrounds you. Just breathe, ahhhh.... And then the feel of jumping into a big massive puddle and getting completely soaked after finding out that the puddle is much deeper than you thought. Makes me smile every time! :) And then there's the simple look of nature being cleansed with the drops that have fallen from a beautiful star-lite sky, washing away all the dirt and pollution of the day and leaving nature in a state of reverie. I feel somehow invasive and embarassed walking into such a scene of innocence and renewal. As if I will contaminate the beauty of such a scene.

Oh Happy Day
When Jesus Washed
My Sins Away
Oh Happy Day

Thursday, September 24, 2009

To Those in Pursuit of a Dream

Martin Luther King Junior once gave one of the most quoted and memorable speeches of all time. He said he had a dream. One that he didn't know would ever be realized, one that he didn't see happening at that moment, one that killed him. But he DREAMED. And I believe that this is all that matters.

Because sometimes the issues and disparities in this world seem too big for us to pursue. They seem too huge for us to stand up against. It is as if we are one person on a beach looking at a tidal wave rolling in on top of us. What are we to do?

I say, we are to dream.

Dream of something bigger and better. And then tell the world! Tell them what they should look for, tell them why they should care, tell them what's wrong. Start dreaming. Dream for a better world.

Because it's the least that everyone can do. People demand the freedom of speech for which they have not utilized their freedom of thought. USE IT! DREAM! Dream small, dream big, dream crazy, do anything but refuse to utilize your brain.

And then, when you're an official dreamer, try to pursue it. Look those boulders in the face and carve out something new. Look at your worst enemy and start to cry. Find a parking lot, and start planting flowers. Change your world. And push past the obstacles that come your way cause we can all use a few more dreamers to keep us crazy. Craziness is what makes the world change, makes the world see through new eyes, makes its heart start pumping again.

Martin Luther said that when we have deep faith, "we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

Let's start dreaming :)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Ah! University!

Is it possible to go through culture shock going to university? Because lately I've been feeling a bit... out of place? Not so much in the school work sense. I can handle the pressure, but more so in the lifestyle of the university student. Going out to the pub every weekend, getting drunk, "hooking up", boy-crazy girls, sex-crazy boys, and then more drinking, and more crazy behaviour. Freud, you had no need to look further than the university to prove that everything is driven by sex. It's in almost every conversation I have! ugh. My conversations over the past week have included: "Did you see him? He's so cute!" or "Last night was a bomb show. I can barely remember what happened..." or "Wow, a lot of people hooked up last night."

Seriously, I'm feeling a little bit sad about my life here. I hate that to be normal is to be having sex and scoping out the hot guys or getting hammered on alcohol. This is not what I want or who I want to be. Please!!! Right now I feel like screaming, "WAKE ME UP!!! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO REALITY?? WHEN DID MORALS FLY OUT THE WINDOW? WHY DIDN'T I GET THE MEMO?" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And I'm feeling sad about all this too. I hate university in one sense, since it constantly gnaws at my faith. God seems so distant here, so far from the minds of anyone I talk to. And for me to discuss God with someone is to make everyone go quiet and nod their heads quietly in "tolerance" of my faith. God is not part of the intellectual, nor the intellectual a part of God. (here, anyways) At least, that's how I feel people think about Christians. Not that it's true (I had a 4.21/4.3 GPA last semester, highest in the entire first year BA department).

I guess what I'm going through is culture shock. But one of a different kind, one I want to fight against, not assimilate with. Is that bad? My morals are precious. To be pure is so precious to me, to have innocence. To be complete when I met God, to have value in his eyes, is of great worth to me.

Ya, and I guess I wonder why I'm here sometimes. I really ask myself that. I crave something more than... whatever this is. And then I remember my friends, my scholarship, my grades, the clubs I'm co-facilitating and in, and I ask myself if I really need to leave or whether I could just... adjust? Hm. I don't like that word. Maybe I should just stay intolerant but continue to love. :S Pray for me!