There are a few times in our lives that we question our identity. We question who we are, and our purpose on this Earth. And we question why we are where we are, and how we got here, and whether this place, which includes our very selves at this moment in time, is where we should be.
Such questions are good ones, I believe, for they make us question ourselves, our place, and our purpose. We must question the things that we've made important, and question whether or not our priorities are good.
I think we all crave direction. We crave a sense of knowing, understanding, and being. We crave a sense of "place". To not have something that gives us direction is to not have something that gives us the motivation to wake up and face yet another day. We need something to live for, and we need something that tells us how we should live.
C.S. Lewis said that "If I find within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
I believe that the only identity and direction that will ever satisfy us truly is the one we find as a child of God. And isn't that a beautiful picture? A child, gripping their father's hand, trusting him completely to guide them where they need to go, to mold them into who they will be, and to love them when they fall, mess up, or need a shoulder to cry on. And that is who we should be.
I remember being a small child, and getting lost in a clothing store. My mom thought my dad was taking me, and my dad thought my mom was taking me, and I was left without either in the women's bra department. I was so scared that I started to cry, because I couldn't find my parents, I didn't know what would happen to me, and large frilly undergarments were hanging around me in all directions (what little child would not find this horrifically frightening?). Little did I know that my father was two aisles away from me - and he definitely would have come back to search for me if something happened. Eventually a kind woman with her own children came along and helped me find him, and I was happy once again.
Think about how many times our own lives seem like this story of the child who seems so lost, so scared, without direction or guidance, and seeking something that they don't know how to find. God is near though. And He's always searching for us. And more than that, He loves us, and in Him, we find the assurance of who we are, the call to be exactly who we're supposed to be, and the love to inspire us to be so.
So, whilst I may find myself in a new place, with seemingly few friends and guidance and constant questions about my future, I embrace the fact that Christ is holding my hand and fathering me in this very place.
Here, I find myself. Here - I am.