Love

So as Christmas is approaching, I felt that a little spiel on love would be appropriate. hahaha. When you like someone, you have one of those warm fuzzy feelings. Crazy wonderful feelings that makes you smile in the middle of the most boring class or burst out laughing at the most inappropriate times as you think back on something that happened four days ago. You think about someone far too much and hope that they don't notice, or secretly, that they do, and return those thoughts. It's absolutely wonderful, and yet entirely depressing too when you don't actually have anyone in love with you. hahaha. (please don't feel bad for me or try and comfort me, I promise I am okay with my singleness-I'm waiting on God and trusting in his timing).

But the above talks very specifically about a specific type of "love," which I would argue is more like than love. That love is the one shared between a couple who is attracted to one another, and yet we so often miss out on an even more inspiring type of love, one shared between friends, family, and our "neighbour."

There are so many people that we are quick to judge and cast the blame on. They are just too "weird" or "awkward" or "lame." Hm. I'd like to know whether you ever actually got to know that weird, awkward, or lame person, or if you're just saying that to get yourself out of a sticky situation of actually getting to know someone that other people might not like so much. Maybe, in their own original way, they are only trying to be understood.

If we took the time to understand them, we'd realize how amazing that person is. Their story, their life that made them who they are today, the person's heart. I guess the question that remains is whether we can do it.

Is it possible to love someone with that kind of passion? Maybe. People might try to love people because they think it's the right thing to do. Which generally sucks. Your making them into a charity case. But if people loved people because they genuinely wanted to love them, to get to know their story, to understand the person they are today, THEN we'd get somewhere. What would that look like?

1 Corinthians 13: 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails.

If I knew someone that loved like that... wow. Maybe then I wouldn't have to convince my friends that life is worth living. They would find purpose simply in the community of loving and encouraging people who surround them.

Now then, I'm going to try and love like 1 Corinthians 13 says. And yes, I will fail. But I'm going to try hard. :)

Bursting the Bubble

So today, a couple of my classes happened to bring up the same concept and I thought, wow, that's pretty cool. Why not blog about it? So, here I am!

Technology is pretty cool. It's given us a realm of connection to our friends almost 24/7 through facebook, msn, and of course, blogs! hahaha. It has been prized as being an intermediary between cultures and the transfer of cultural ideas to other parts of the globe, broadening our perspectives on life and the issues facing not only us but other parts of the world.

But... I'm going to say that technology has done very little in terms of bringing people together. Television, for example, has only subsisted to broaden our worldview and make us very small in our surroundings. News makes us aware of all the bad happening in the world, rarely reporting on the good as to make us scared of everyone we meet and see. It builds up a world in which we are distant from everyone around us. They become these scary "unknowns"-they COULD be terrorists! they COULD be child molesters! they COULD be murderers! AHHHH!!

Likely... not.

If we turned off that silly television of ours and decided to go out and meet people, we might realize that those "scary people" are few and far between. We might learn that people's "stories" (as I like to call them) are quite amazing. What we see as one individual is actually the product of sooooo much history. That person walking by us on the sidewalk has hopes and dreams, maybe he or she has already fulfilled some of them-wouldn't it be interesting to find out which ones? Maybe that women you see waitressing for you is trying to save up money so that she can intern with a development agency over in Africa. Maybe the men whose cleaning up the halls of your residence or office building is in truth a former paster whose just trying to get ends meet. Perhaps the person doing karoke at the local pub is in truth trying to fulfill one of her life goals of conquering a fear of singing in public. The person waiting in line at the bank is an aspiring musician, struggling to make ends meet.

People are amazing beings that inspire and give hope; we just rarely ever tear ourselves away from the false realities we set up to recognize the real ones. So I guess the challenge that I need to face and I hope others will to is to go out and meet people. To discover who they are, why they're like that, what they dream of, how crazy wonderful they are. Let's burst the bubble of individualism and reach out for something better-community!

The Blessing and Curse of Meal Hall

Meal Hall. The very word brings me both joy and shivers.

As I walk down the stairs and see the view of friends, I smile and look forward to the conversations I can expect in front of me. Laying down my coat and purse on an available seat, I go to the salad bar. Lettuce, cucumber, tomato, chick peas, black olives, FETA!! woohoo. I get a glass of water and sit down. On with my meal and with a long conversation with my table buddies. Laughing so hard that I can feel the food I've just eaten get squashed by my over-worked abs, I eat up my salad bite by bite. Onto something else... Potatoes! And I sit back down to my table buddies. We strike up conversation on an awful professor that is called a name I shall not repeat and I try to change the topic. How, do you ask, did I do so? I start singing Backstreet Boys. Yep. That's about it. I get some strange looks and two people leave, although one of my friends decides that he'd like to join in on my fun too. He is indeed a good friend. lol. Now, I move seats since the majority of people in this section seem to have left. Time for ice cream! On to see which flavours are available... vanilla, vanilla, vanilla, butterschotch ripple, which is mostly vanilla, oh! and coffee chocolate flavour. Let's get that. Mmmmmm... I lick at the drops of solid caffeine. Again, a new conversation strikes up about vegetarianism. "Hurray!" I think to myself-although I am smiling very widely as he talks about his reasoning behind his veggie choice-woohooo! And the ice cream is devoured. Hmmmm... what now? Well, I haven't had a glass of milk in a long time. Maybe some of that. Off to the milk station. Skim, of course. I sit back down. By this time, everyone is gone except for my loyal backstreet boy singing friend, lol. We spend time discussing my previous meal hall encounter when I was teaching my friend how to wink, but some guy thought that my winks were directed at him. :S We start laughing again. About an hour and a half has gone by at this point. He offers me part of his cookie and since my milk is gone at this point, some of that too. I ate the first chunk before he got to asking me about the milk, opps. Finally, after almost the entire table has cleared out, even those who arrived about half an hour after me, my friend and I decide that now is about the right time to head back to residence. I have spent an entire hour and half of what could have been studying in meal hall. hahaha.

But I enjoyed every minute of it too. Was it wasted? Perhaps. But it was wasted with friends, and that's what counts. :D

The Face by RyanDan

Hey there everyone!

I was listening to this song today and I felt inspired by it, as it seemed really relevant to my walk with Christ and his persistent love for me despite the times I've doubted or I've been confused or just felt really lost. So here it is:

Traveler of the great divides
Vagrant on a path to life

Everyday feels a little closer
To where it is that you're headed for
Given to a hope of so much more

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face
You'll see my face

Think you're on this road alone
Looking for a truth untold

Many times you've been close to breaking
Giving up and letting go
Something inside says it's not over

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face

And when the world crowds your space
Remember days when noise was silent
Now empty vows, loveless displays
Just a sense of knowing
You'd see my face
You'd see my face


Peace!

Oh Happy Day!

I am more often in a pensive mood rather than happy mood when I write my blogs, so I decided that I would write this one in my joyous mood, lol.

It certainly is a Happy Day, despite the fact that I have so much to do and have mid-terms approaching quicker than lightening. But I feel like singing!! hahaha. What a joy it is to simply know that God is here, to know that I can trust Him with anything! Pure Bliss! It`s better than a bran muffin. Ha! (Psst. Why is it that I compare everything to food? I've got to figure out something better... but it takes so much of the humour out of it! lol)

Rain is beautiful, isn't it? The smell of the earth right after it's soaked up all the wet dew and the fresh clean air that surrounds you. Just breathe, ahhhh.... And then the feel of jumping into a big massive puddle and getting completely soaked after finding out that the puddle is much deeper than you thought. Makes me smile every time! :) And then there's the simple look of nature being cleansed with the drops that have fallen from a beautiful star-lite sky, washing away all the dirt and pollution of the day and leaving nature in a state of reverie. I feel somehow invasive and embarassed walking into such a scene of innocence and renewal. As if I will contaminate the beauty of such a scene.

Oh Happy Day
When Jesus Washed
My Sins Away
Oh Happy Day

To Those in Pursuit of a Dream

Martin Luther King Junior once gave one of the most quoted and memorable speeches of all time. He said he had a dream. One that he didn't know would ever be realized, one that he didn't see happening at that moment, one that killed him. But he DREAMED. And I believe that this is all that matters.

Because sometimes the issues and disparities in this world seem too big for us to pursue. They seem too huge for us to stand up against. It is as if we are one person on a beach looking at a tidal wave rolling in on top of us. What are we to do?

I say, we are to dream.

Dream of something bigger and better. And then tell the world! Tell them what they should look for, tell them why they should care, tell them what's wrong. Start dreaming. Dream for a better world.

Because it's the least that everyone can do. People demand the freedom of speech for which they have not utilized their freedom of thought. USE IT! DREAM! Dream small, dream big, dream crazy, do anything but refuse to utilize your brain.

And then, when you're an official dreamer, try to pursue it. Look those boulders in the face and carve out something new. Look at your worst enemy and start to cry. Find a parking lot, and start planting flowers. Change your world. And push past the obstacles that come your way cause we can all use a few more dreamers to keep us crazy. Craziness is what makes the world change, makes the world see through new eyes, makes its heart start pumping again.

Martin Luther said that when we have deep faith, "we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

Let's start dreaming :)

Ah! University!

Is it possible to go through culture shock going to university? Because lately I've been feeling a bit... out of place? Not so much in the school work sense. I can handle the pressure, but more so in the lifestyle of the university student. Going out to the pub every weekend, getting drunk, "hooking up", boy-crazy girls, sex-crazy boys, and then more drinking, and more crazy behaviour. Freud, you had no need to look further than the university to prove that everything is driven by sex. It's in almost every conversation I have! ugh. My conversations over the past week have included: "Did you see him? He's so cute!" or "Last night was a bomb show. I can barely remember what happened..." or "Wow, a lot of people hooked up last night."

Seriously, I'm feeling a little bit sad about my life here. I hate that to be normal is to be having sex and scoping out the hot guys or getting hammered on alcohol. This is not what I want or who I want to be. Please!!! Right now I feel like screaming, "WAKE ME UP!!! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO REALITY?? WHEN DID MORALS FLY OUT THE WINDOW? WHY DIDN'T I GET THE MEMO?" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And I'm feeling sad about all this too. I hate university in one sense, since it constantly gnaws at my faith. God seems so distant here, so far from the minds of anyone I talk to. And for me to discuss God with someone is to make everyone go quiet and nod their heads quietly in "tolerance" of my faith. God is not part of the intellectual, nor the intellectual a part of God. (here, anyways) At least, that's how I feel people think about Christians. Not that it's true (I had a 4.21/4.3 GPA last semester, highest in the entire first year BA department).

I guess what I'm going through is culture shock. But one of a different kind, one I want to fight against, not assimilate with. Is that bad? My morals are precious. To be pure is so precious to me, to have innocence. To be complete when I met God, to have value in his eyes, is of great worth to me.

Ya, and I guess I wonder why I'm here sometimes. I really ask myself that. I crave something more than... whatever this is. And then I remember my friends, my scholarship, my grades, the clubs I'm co-facilitating and in, and I ask myself if I really need to leave or whether I could just... adjust? Hm. I don't like that word. Maybe I should just stay intolerant but continue to love. :S Pray for me!