The Blessing and Curse of Meal Hall

Meal Hall. The very word brings me both joy and shivers.

As I walk down the stairs and see the view of friends, I smile and look forward to the conversations I can expect in front of me. Laying down my coat and purse on an available seat, I go to the salad bar. Lettuce, cucumber, tomato, chick peas, black olives, FETA!! woohoo. I get a glass of water and sit down. On with my meal and with a long conversation with my table buddies. Laughing so hard that I can feel the food I've just eaten get squashed by my over-worked abs, I eat up my salad bite by bite. Onto something else... Potatoes! And I sit back down to my table buddies. We strike up conversation on an awful professor that is called a name I shall not repeat and I try to change the topic. How, do you ask, did I do so? I start singing Backstreet Boys. Yep. That's about it. I get some strange looks and two people leave, although one of my friends decides that he'd like to join in on my fun too. He is indeed a good friend. lol. Now, I move seats since the majority of people in this section seem to have left. Time for ice cream! On to see which flavours are available... vanilla, vanilla, vanilla, butterschotch ripple, which is mostly vanilla, oh! and coffee chocolate flavour. Let's get that. Mmmmmm... I lick at the drops of solid caffeine. Again, a new conversation strikes up about vegetarianism. "Hurray!" I think to myself-although I am smiling very widely as he talks about his reasoning behind his veggie choice-woohooo! And the ice cream is devoured. Hmmmm... what now? Well, I haven't had a glass of milk in a long time. Maybe some of that. Off to the milk station. Skim, of course. I sit back down. By this time, everyone is gone except for my loyal backstreet boy singing friend, lol. We spend time discussing my previous meal hall encounter when I was teaching my friend how to wink, but some guy thought that my winks were directed at him. :S We start laughing again. About an hour and a half has gone by at this point. He offers me part of his cookie and since my milk is gone at this point, some of that too. I ate the first chunk before he got to asking me about the milk, opps. Finally, after almost the entire table has cleared out, even those who arrived about half an hour after me, my friend and I decide that now is about the right time to head back to residence. I have spent an entire hour and half of what could have been studying in meal hall. hahaha.

But I enjoyed every minute of it too. Was it wasted? Perhaps. But it was wasted with friends, and that's what counts. :D

The Face by RyanDan

Hey there everyone!

I was listening to this song today and I felt inspired by it, as it seemed really relevant to my walk with Christ and his persistent love for me despite the times I've doubted or I've been confused or just felt really lost. So here it is:

Traveler of the great divides
Vagrant on a path to life

Everyday feels a little closer
To where it is that you're headed for
Given to a hope of so much more

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face
You'll see my face

Think you're on this road alone
Looking for a truth untold

Many times you've been close to breaking
Giving up and letting go
Something inside says it's not over

For every time you fall apart
There'll be a soul to guide your journey
But if you choose to turn away
There in the mirror
You'll see my face

And when the world crowds your space
Remember days when noise was silent
Now empty vows, loveless displays
Just a sense of knowing
You'd see my face
You'd see my face


Peace!

Oh Happy Day!

I am more often in a pensive mood rather than happy mood when I write my blogs, so I decided that I would write this one in my joyous mood, lol.

It certainly is a Happy Day, despite the fact that I have so much to do and have mid-terms approaching quicker than lightening. But I feel like singing!! hahaha. What a joy it is to simply know that God is here, to know that I can trust Him with anything! Pure Bliss! It`s better than a bran muffin. Ha! (Psst. Why is it that I compare everything to food? I've got to figure out something better... but it takes so much of the humour out of it! lol)

Rain is beautiful, isn't it? The smell of the earth right after it's soaked up all the wet dew and the fresh clean air that surrounds you. Just breathe, ahhhh.... And then the feel of jumping into a big massive puddle and getting completely soaked after finding out that the puddle is much deeper than you thought. Makes me smile every time! :) And then there's the simple look of nature being cleansed with the drops that have fallen from a beautiful star-lite sky, washing away all the dirt and pollution of the day and leaving nature in a state of reverie. I feel somehow invasive and embarassed walking into such a scene of innocence and renewal. As if I will contaminate the beauty of such a scene.

Oh Happy Day
When Jesus Washed
My Sins Away
Oh Happy Day

To Those in Pursuit of a Dream

Martin Luther King Junior once gave one of the most quoted and memorable speeches of all time. He said he had a dream. One that he didn't know would ever be realized, one that he didn't see happening at that moment, one that killed him. But he DREAMED. And I believe that this is all that matters.

Because sometimes the issues and disparities in this world seem too big for us to pursue. They seem too huge for us to stand up against. It is as if we are one person on a beach looking at a tidal wave rolling in on top of us. What are we to do?

I say, we are to dream.

Dream of something bigger and better. And then tell the world! Tell them what they should look for, tell them why they should care, tell them what's wrong. Start dreaming. Dream for a better world.

Because it's the least that everyone can do. People demand the freedom of speech for which they have not utilized their freedom of thought. USE IT! DREAM! Dream small, dream big, dream crazy, do anything but refuse to utilize your brain.

And then, when you're an official dreamer, try to pursue it. Look those boulders in the face and carve out something new. Look at your worst enemy and start to cry. Find a parking lot, and start planting flowers. Change your world. And push past the obstacles that come your way cause we can all use a few more dreamers to keep us crazy. Craziness is what makes the world change, makes the world see through new eyes, makes its heart start pumping again.

Martin Luther said that when we have deep faith, "we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

Let's start dreaming :)

Ah! University!

Is it possible to go through culture shock going to university? Because lately I've been feeling a bit... out of place? Not so much in the school work sense. I can handle the pressure, but more so in the lifestyle of the university student. Going out to the pub every weekend, getting drunk, "hooking up", boy-crazy girls, sex-crazy boys, and then more drinking, and more crazy behaviour. Freud, you had no need to look further than the university to prove that everything is driven by sex. It's in almost every conversation I have! ugh. My conversations over the past week have included: "Did you see him? He's so cute!" or "Last night was a bomb show. I can barely remember what happened..." or "Wow, a lot of people hooked up last night."

Seriously, I'm feeling a little bit sad about my life here. I hate that to be normal is to be having sex and scoping out the hot guys or getting hammered on alcohol. This is not what I want or who I want to be. Please!!! Right now I feel like screaming, "WAKE ME UP!!! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO REALITY?? WHEN DID MORALS FLY OUT THE WINDOW? WHY DIDN'T I GET THE MEMO?" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And I'm feeling sad about all this too. I hate university in one sense, since it constantly gnaws at my faith. God seems so distant here, so far from the minds of anyone I talk to. And for me to discuss God with someone is to make everyone go quiet and nod their heads quietly in "tolerance" of my faith. God is not part of the intellectual, nor the intellectual a part of God. (here, anyways) At least, that's how I feel people think about Christians. Not that it's true (I had a 4.21/4.3 GPA last semester, highest in the entire first year BA department).

I guess what I'm going through is culture shock. But one of a different kind, one I want to fight against, not assimilate with. Is that bad? My morals are precious. To be pure is so precious to me, to have innocence. To be complete when I met God, to have value in his eyes, is of great worth to me.

Ya, and I guess I wonder why I'm here sometimes. I really ask myself that. I crave something more than... whatever this is. And then I remember my friends, my scholarship, my grades, the clubs I'm co-facilitating and in, and I ask myself if I really need to leave or whether I could just... adjust? Hm. I don't like that word. Maybe I should just stay intolerant but continue to love. :S Pray for me!

We're all under the same starry sky

I have faith in God, and faith that humanity can find Him. I have faith that God has the power to change people. He has the power to change the hearts of men and that once we are found in God, we are found in love. And I believe the task of the church is to show this love all over the world to every person they meet.

But I have to say that I'm disappointed in humanity. I'm saddened because somehow, people don't realize how precious they are. I'm sad that somehow, young kids are being denied love from their own parents, that people feel the need to cut themselves, that right now, people are committing suicide because their lives are no longer worth living.

What's happened?! When did people get so selfish and introverted that we no longer even have a purpose for continuing on with our lives. A gentle touch, a kind word, a smile, a laugh, a comforting conversation, a willingness to forgive and forget. Those are only little things we can do to help one another. Anything to let others know that they are noticed, that they're soooo important! I hate (and yes, I'm using that word) the lack of love in our society. And I wish that people would not have self-ambition, but a drive to help others.

Why is it that there's this clear division within society of the rich and the poor? Even geographically speaking, the East end is always poor, the West always rich. Why? Society has created so many divisions that we rarely know how to break them enough to learn that we're all under the same starry sky. And no, I'm not a communist, but I do believe that a person growing up in the west end with a two parents and even enough money to just meet ends meet will have a much better chance of getting a good job in life than a person growing up in the East end with a single parent, often switching between foster homes and parents. And I don't think any political system will technically fix that. I believe the only thing that ever could is God's love, manifested in his church.

So ya, here's the thing. The church, which includes me, needs to get their butts moving. I can't stand to see the Face of Love being dimmed in this world. We need to shine on a hill. Let everyone know that they are precious. That God values them more than they could imagine. Then we'll see a revolution of Love. What a breath of fresh air that'd be!

I hate Coke ads. (And more philosophical thoughts.)

So I've been thinking lately... Yes. It's true.

Ever feel like God is watered down? Sometimes I feel like people like to sell him, like a bottle of Coca-Cola. "He loves you", "he'll never abandon you", "he'll hold you close and never let go", "he puts the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart".

And I have to laugh here because I find myself doing this all too. And it's not as if God isn't all these things. But he's got WRATH. And I think that's kind of scary for people. Wait, not for people, for me. He's a jealous, angry kind of guy. (We sing these qualities very nicely into our worship music however-"He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am tree"- OH NO.) Well, you know what? I think I need to hear about God's wrath. I need to know that God isn't a pansy. lol. I'm half-joking here, half serious.

Cause here's the thing. People need to understand that God isn't a brick. He gets angry when we do things that are wrong. And the entire message of Jesus dying for our sins is nothing without the understanding that Jesus died on the cross to take away God's wrath on the world.

If we think that God is perfect and humanity is sinful, then we know that God cannot possibly be reconciled to humanity because God hates sin. He loves us, he just hates sin. (And yes, there's a HUGE difference) Hence, the Old Testament is filled with bloody sacrifice and fighting and slaughter and war. All this in an attempt to somehow find God in the midst of our own sin. And this is probably the saddest thing to read about. And so, here's where the love story starts to become clear. Jesus comes down to Earth and never sins. God's wrath is not upon him because he is perfect in every way. And then, committing the most selfless act humanity has ever seen, Jesus lets humanity nail his wrists and his ankles into a piece of wood, hang from the wood in front of a mocking crowd, suffocate to death, and have enough love to act as the perfect sacrifice for the people who have done this to him.-Wow. And as the curtain of the temple is torn into two, God is finally able to reconcile himself with humanity. Because by confessing our sins to Jesus, we realize that He acts as our sacrifice, as my sacrifice, to cover the sins that would normally evoke God's wrath, and instead, clean me up, so that I am now under grace and can discover God's love. AMAZING.

There's nothing better than realizing from HOW MUCH we have been redeemed. So yes, please don't water down God. Cause he's pretty cool just the way he is.