Thursday, June 19, 2014

Admitting our faults

There is great significance in admitting our faults and mistakes.

I am the type of person who hates to be told I have done something wrong. I get all defensive, my chest gets a bit puffier, my eyes get all evil, and I get all bitter because someone's actually caught onto the fact I'm not perfect. How dare they.

I like to build the facade of perfection around me. I have a checklist of items that I hope adds up to creating this mask of perfection - volunteering, intelligence, loyalty to friends and family, time reading my bible, giving money to charity, etc. It's a nice checklist, don't you think?

But the truth is that I am not perfect. That I make mistakes all the time. I probably call myself an idiot about 5-10 times a day because I think of something I've done (or just currently did) and think, "Opps, I hope they don't hate me."

I used to hide those mistakes. Those parts of myself that would ruin my facade of perfection. I thought people would see the ugliness inside of me, the darkness that I was hiding and go, "Aha! I caught you", and tell everyone.

But I believe this in itself is a great mistake, because my unwillingness to show people my errors is actually my unwillingness to be vulnerable with people. To say, Hey look - I am actually human like you.

There is great humility required to admit our mistakes. We must suffer the consequences for them, we must make amends, we must move forward and say, Let's try not to do that again. It's embarassing, it's messy, it's easy to shove under the rug and pretend as if it never happened. But courage comes in our admission of fault and the responsibility required to step up and confess.

The bible says Pride comes before a fall, but God honours the humble. Perhaps it is because the humble recognize their own position at the foot of the cross. They are already fallen - in a prostrate position before Jesus, and remember first how much grace they themselves need and that it is the same grace everyone else needs. No one is better or worse, and having that attitude gives us the chance to love people no matter the cost, to suffer for them (or because of them), and to serve them with a heart that knows no boundaries.

We are marred with mistakes. And God finds beauty in showing them freely to the world and letting everyone see how He is pouring into you through them.

In the words of the sultry voiced Leonard Cohen, "Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

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