To a love I'll never understand.

A lovely, kind and beautiful friend of mine was reading a bible passage with me the other day, and I read over one of my very favourite bible passages. And if you didn't already guess, I'm going to share this with you! Lucky you. ;)

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long;/ we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

That verse strikes me silent every time I read it.

I guess that I just, I can't really accept it. Because there's so many times I mess up. So many times when I feel like I don't deserve that love. I don't deserve someone to love me that way. Golly wolly, sometimes I won't even like a guy because I'm like, he'd be better off with someone else. I'm not good enough, or strong enough, for him. I can't even imagine that GOD, the almighty one who was so humble that he died for me when I hated and scorned him and rejected him, when I pierced his hands with nails and watched him die on the cross. He loved me through that. He was like, "One day, Rachel is going to lie, to hurt her parents, to fail her friends, to mess up and make some serious mistakes, she's going to be a failure in my eyes, but I'm going to love her. Because I know who she can be, and I know who she wants to be."

You know, they say it takes a lot of faith to believe in God.

I think it takes a lot more faith for God to believe in us.

And a lot more love. Although, I don't even think the word "love" can adequately represent Christ's passionate loyalty, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, parenthood, justice, and devotion towards those who choose to surrender themselves to him and ask him to enter their lives.

I appreciate the bible a lot. More or less, because everyone in it is a screw up. A complete and utter mess. Noah gets drunk and naked, Abraham decides tells God he doesn't believe him, Jonah chickens out, tries to run away, and then tells God to strike down a whole city dead, David sleeps with someone else's wife when he's already married and then kills her husband once he finds out she's pregnant, and Peter is just so darn obstinate that he tells Jesus to send down a fire ball on a city that doesn't accept them. And these were God's chosen leaders.

I guess it just amazes me every time to realize that maybe, although I screw up, God's going to love me anyways. Overwhelming - but I guess that's God for you. Can't really fit into my little human mind very well.