To every beginning comes an end, and four years after starting University, I have reached the end to this particular path in my life. I've never been one for goodbyes. I kind of wave, give a hug, maybe a card or present, and then kind of run away. I don't like crying. And so went all of my goodbyes to each of my friends and professors. I gave them a smile and a hug and then ran away. Yet this time, I really did realize how very much I'd fallen in love with the town and the people in it as I reached its borders, stopped in at the Tim Hortons just before entering the highway, and then broke down into tears. A fair embarassment, as I had already ordered my coffee, and the customer service people ended up handing it to me while tears were running down my face. It was more or less like, "Here's your coff.... Ohhhhhh." And then I ran away as per usual, back into the hiding of my car.
I guess this whole prelude is to say that it's going to be a challenge being away from those people and places that have been home to me for the past four years. And if anyone whose been part of that journey with me reads this, know that you have really impacted me and my life. I went in a youngster and came out an adult. I know who I am now, and I'm happy. I think that, even if my grades themselves had suffered, the feeling of "wholeness" that I've come out the other side with is enough.
God's been really good to me, and I'm overwhelmed by how He brought to me just the people that I needed to learn, to be challenged, to persevere, to fail, to get back up again. People who have been role models to me, and people who have supported me and challenged me to be a better person, to find a sense of completeness and satisfaction in myself, to find strength, courage, and determination for a good cause. I could not have done it without you. And I mean that - a leader is nothing without a thousand other people behind her or him. No one's life is built on their own strength, but on the support, motivation, leadership, counsel, and guidance of many many others. Thank-you to everyone who's been there for me throughout.
Now I am off to a new journey, and who knows where this will lead. I can only hope that I can continue to find the kind of love, support, hope, and guidance that people have given me over the past four years. Hugs to all.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Miss Representation
I once visited a church where an older man, who - I should clarify - I had never met before, asked me what I was studying at University. I told him that I was studying International Relations, which was the study of politics at the international level. He looked at me, smiled, patted my arm, and then said, "Why are you studying that? You should study Fine Arts."
...
I hope that you feel as offended as I was at that moment. Women everywhere are told that they are not valuable. That we are somehow less important than men. That the very way we were born, the way that we were conceived made us less important than males. I cannot - according to above male - possibly want to be involved in politics. That is ludicrous for a woman to want to do. I should be doing "fine arts," a graceful womanly type-of-thing to do.
Funny thing is - on a side note - that I actually love art. And I do sketch and do artsy stuff. But not as much as I love social justice, the environment, politics, journalism. This is what drives me. These issues make my heart flutter - they're integral to what makes me happy in life.
Everywhere, everyday, the media tells women that they are only worth as much as they look like. A woman in politics only gets attention if her pant suit is snazzy, if she's hot enough to take to bed, if she's willing to wear revealing clothing and wink at you while doing her speech. Condoleezza Rice - one of the strongest female politicians, who served as the 66th US Secretary of State - had an article written about her entitled, "Condi Rice, Dominatrix". The article said, and I quote: "Clothed all in black, she caused both fear and sexual excitement in her long, sleek, military-style coat with band collar and gold buttons, sexy short skirt, and knee-high leather boots with three-inch stiletto heels." *insert barfing noise here* She is not the only example. Look at the hyper-sexualization of Sarah Palin's political campaigns, of Hilary Clinton's campaigns, of ANY woman who tries to enter politics. Look at the pictures that are taken of them - you'll often find picture taken that showcase only their legs, often framing the picture so that their legs are open and the photo is framed on either side with them. Sending the message, of course, that they are only sexual objects.
Politics is not the only arena where women are judged based on their looks. Female journalists experience discrimination all the time, whether it be sexualization through producers putting them in short skirts, low-cut tops, making them do stupid, ditzy dance moves on set, or just blatant disregard and off-hand comments about how they cannot possibly understand certain comments because they are too naive, cute, 'girl'-y, or 'womanly' to 'get it.' What are we? Little dolls? Is that how we outnumber males 6:4 in every university in North America? We're too "naive" and "child-like"?
Or maybe it's simply just watching a movie, or a television show! It is a rarity for me to ever see a television show or a movie where there is a strong female character. A female who is not judged based on her appearance, but on her character. A female who is not head-over-heels for the first guy to "sweep her off her feet" - often literally. All these tv shows or movies show women in one of three ways:
1) Princess needing prince to save her. Something happens, male jumps in and saves the day, she swoons over his masculineness, she is weak and he is strong type deal, and then they get married. He protects her for forevermore.
2) Fighting sex toys: She is strong enough to take care of herself, and comes blasting into an area with guns a-blazing and feet a kicking. BUT, she is wearing spandex, her every move is sexualized, and the film is only generally pleasing to a male audience. Plus, she is also, somehow, generally saved by a man. Even though she shouldn't need one. Yet - as the media would tell us - we can't take care of ourselves.
3) She is only made for sex. Or is a toy. Or is better dead. This is basically found in any and every music video out there. Unfortunately, in the female singers videos too, albeit there are a few singers with some self-respect to not play to the sex toy demands. She is forced to undergo botox, plastic surgery, etc. to look PERFECT. Flawless or nothing, because that's the only way that a woman gains her value in television. Women wear basically nothing at all, or if they do, just enough to get away with showing the video on television without it begin banned. Hey, why not throw in some nooses around their necks, while we're making them virtually no clothing? They can be sexy AND dead in our music videos now! Not offensive at all, right?
Here's the thing: This is the world that my future daughter is going to grow up in. This is the world that I am trying to make my place in. Yet where can a young woman turn to find a representation of strength, of confidence, of self-assurance? Where can a woman find respect for her accomplishments, for her character, for her life choices, rather than praise for her body? How can she develop into a woman of strength and character when everywhere she is told that all she is good for is sex. Or her body? And then - why do we keep blaming young woman for being too promiscuous, for dressing too provocatively, for having children "at such a young age", when it's all that society says is important for females?
And moreover, how am I supposed to find a partner who will respect me as a human being, as a woman who is interested in pursuing a strong career, wants to assert herself on the same level as him, and desires a partnership in marriage, when everything society tells us is that women are inferior and are to be the sexual slaves of men? Many times, I've thought that I just want to be single, to pursue God and my career, and I don't think I'd be unhappy with that either. Right now, away from all my married and/or dating and/or engaged and/or "interested" friends, I'm quite content. No one asks me about my dating life, or tells me, "You'll find someone some day." - You know which of you has said that to someone before. (It sucks by the way, stop saying it, cause it might not happen.) I've been asked by quite a few people how many kids I expect to have, or whether I'm dating anyone, or how I wish my wedding day to look like.
You know people, maybe it's not even something I'm really interested in. Try to think about that - maybe a woman does NOT want a man. Maybe she is, in fact, happy alone. And why shouldn't she be? Maybe I just want to be single - and that would be enough. And maybe I'll get married. But it's MY choice. And I don't need someone to tell me that I have to have kids. That I have to get married. That I have to find someone. Especially if you assume so because I'm a "weak" female (P.S. I'm not.)
All this to say: Be a man who recognizes a woman because of her character. Who defines beauty based on purity of heart, not on botox treatments, perfect teeth, impossibly slim waistlines, or big bulging ocean blue eyes.
Be a woman who respects herself. Be a woman who respects other woman, and supports them in whatever they do. Don't bash your sisters - we're all struggling through this same system of lies. Don't degrade yourself because you don't look like the models plastered on the front of the magazines that we see when we're in line at the cash register. Honestly, not even the models that posed for those pictures look like the models plastered on the front of the magazines that we see when we're in line at the cash register. I have chosen not to strive for that - I just strive to be happy with myself, and to be healthy. I'm not skinny. I'm not even slim. Heck, I'm a tad overweight. But that doesn't mean I suck at life. And I don't define myself by that either. Choose to love yourself. Look in the mirror and say, "Damn girl, you looking gooooooodddddd today. You've got swagger booty." And then go through and meditate on your character to see if it's just as spicy hot. If not, work on that before you head to the gym.
And now, I am finally signing off. Peace my friends!
...
I hope that you feel as offended as I was at that moment. Women everywhere are told that they are not valuable. That we are somehow less important than men. That the very way we were born, the way that we were conceived made us less important than males. I cannot - according to above male - possibly want to be involved in politics. That is ludicrous for a woman to want to do. I should be doing "fine arts," a graceful womanly type-of-thing to do.
Funny thing is - on a side note - that I actually love art. And I do sketch and do artsy stuff. But not as much as I love social justice, the environment, politics, journalism. This is what drives me. These issues make my heart flutter - they're integral to what makes me happy in life.
Everywhere, everyday, the media tells women that they are only worth as much as they look like. A woman in politics only gets attention if her pant suit is snazzy, if she's hot enough to take to bed, if she's willing to wear revealing clothing and wink at you while doing her speech. Condoleezza Rice - one of the strongest female politicians, who served as the 66th US Secretary of State - had an article written about her entitled, "Condi Rice, Dominatrix". The article said, and I quote: "Clothed all in black, she caused both fear and sexual excitement in her long, sleek, military-style coat with band collar and gold buttons, sexy short skirt, and knee-high leather boots with three-inch stiletto heels." *insert barfing noise here* She is not the only example. Look at the hyper-sexualization of Sarah Palin's political campaigns, of Hilary Clinton's campaigns, of ANY woman who tries to enter politics. Look at the pictures that are taken of them - you'll often find picture taken that showcase only their legs, often framing the picture so that their legs are open and the photo is framed on either side with them. Sending the message, of course, that they are only sexual objects.
Politics is not the only arena where women are judged based on their looks. Female journalists experience discrimination all the time, whether it be sexualization through producers putting them in short skirts, low-cut tops, making them do stupid, ditzy dance moves on set, or just blatant disregard and off-hand comments about how they cannot possibly understand certain comments because they are too naive, cute, 'girl'-y, or 'womanly' to 'get it.' What are we? Little dolls? Is that how we outnumber males 6:4 in every university in North America? We're too "naive" and "child-like"?
Or maybe it's simply just watching a movie, or a television show! It is a rarity for me to ever see a television show or a movie where there is a strong female character. A female who is not judged based on her appearance, but on her character. A female who is not head-over-heels for the first guy to "sweep her off her feet" - often literally. All these tv shows or movies show women in one of three ways:
1) Princess needing prince to save her. Something happens, male jumps in and saves the day, she swoons over his masculineness, she is weak and he is strong type deal, and then they get married. He protects her for forevermore.
2) Fighting sex toys: She is strong enough to take care of herself, and comes blasting into an area with guns a-blazing and feet a kicking. BUT, she is wearing spandex, her every move is sexualized, and the film is only generally pleasing to a male audience. Plus, she is also, somehow, generally saved by a man. Even though she shouldn't need one. Yet - as the media would tell us - we can't take care of ourselves.
3) She is only made for sex. Or is a toy. Or is better dead. This is basically found in any and every music video out there. Unfortunately, in the female singers videos too, albeit there are a few singers with some self-respect to not play to the sex toy demands. She is forced to undergo botox, plastic surgery, etc. to look PERFECT. Flawless or nothing, because that's the only way that a woman gains her value in television. Women wear basically nothing at all, or if they do, just enough to get away with showing the video on television without it begin banned. Hey, why not throw in some nooses around their necks, while we're making them virtually no clothing? They can be sexy AND dead in our music videos now! Not offensive at all, right?
Here's the thing: This is the world that my future daughter is going to grow up in. This is the world that I am trying to make my place in. Yet where can a young woman turn to find a representation of strength, of confidence, of self-assurance? Where can a woman find respect for her accomplishments, for her character, for her life choices, rather than praise for her body? How can she develop into a woman of strength and character when everywhere she is told that all she is good for is sex. Or her body? And then - why do we keep blaming young woman for being too promiscuous, for dressing too provocatively, for having children "at such a young age", when it's all that society says is important for females?
And moreover, how am I supposed to find a partner who will respect me as a human being, as a woman who is interested in pursuing a strong career, wants to assert herself on the same level as him, and desires a partnership in marriage, when everything society tells us is that women are inferior and are to be the sexual slaves of men? Many times, I've thought that I just want to be single, to pursue God and my career, and I don't think I'd be unhappy with that either. Right now, away from all my married and/or dating and/or engaged and/or "interested" friends, I'm quite content. No one asks me about my dating life, or tells me, "You'll find someone some day." - You know which of you has said that to someone before. (It sucks by the way, stop saying it, cause it might not happen.) I've been asked by quite a few people how many kids I expect to have, or whether I'm dating anyone, or how I wish my wedding day to look like.
You know people, maybe it's not even something I'm really interested in. Try to think about that - maybe a woman does NOT want a man. Maybe she is, in fact, happy alone. And why shouldn't she be? Maybe I just want to be single - and that would be enough. And maybe I'll get married. But it's MY choice. And I don't need someone to tell me that I have to have kids. That I have to get married. That I have to find someone. Especially if you assume so because I'm a "weak" female (P.S. I'm not.)
All this to say: Be a man who recognizes a woman because of her character. Who defines beauty based on purity of heart, not on botox treatments, perfect teeth, impossibly slim waistlines, or big bulging ocean blue eyes.
Be a woman who respects herself. Be a woman who respects other woman, and supports them in whatever they do. Don't bash your sisters - we're all struggling through this same system of lies. Don't degrade yourself because you don't look like the models plastered on the front of the magazines that we see when we're in line at the cash register. Honestly, not even the models that posed for those pictures look like the models plastered on the front of the magazines that we see when we're in line at the cash register. I have chosen not to strive for that - I just strive to be happy with myself, and to be healthy. I'm not skinny. I'm not even slim. Heck, I'm a tad overweight. But that doesn't mean I suck at life. And I don't define myself by that either. Choose to love yourself. Look in the mirror and say, "Damn girl, you looking gooooooodddddd today. You've got swagger booty." And then go through and meditate on your character to see if it's just as spicy hot. If not, work on that before you head to the gym.
And now, I am finally signing off. Peace my friends!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Moving forward
There are many times in our lives when we just want everything to stop. To halt for one moment whilst we figure out how to proceed. Yet life never seems to listen to us, does it?
It just proceeds as if it has no cares in the world. As if we do, in fact, just have to keep on living. And keeping asking questions. And keep waiting on responses. And keep on living until something eventually happens.
Life can be quite scary though - think of how constantly we are forced to change up what we're doing, where we are, who we're closest to. And change is frightening - and good. All at the same time.
What would we learn if we remained exactly as we are? No, we need to be shaken up a bit every now and then - it teaches us about who we are, about our strengths, about our weakness, about the people who really matter in our life.
Perhaps, you might even say, it teaches us to take chances. To realize that life is a never-ending course of change. First, we're living with our parents, then off at one school, then at the next, then we move to this job, then we move to take a new one, then eventually, we're left in a retirement home or if we're lucky, back with our own sons and daughters. Well I certainly can't pretend to know the turbulence of life yet, for I've only got 21 years under my belt, I can predict that in spite of the turbulence, it's taking chances that will make the journey worthwhile.
There's always going to be difficulties in life, whether it be worries about making new friends after a move, moving away from a support network of family (or adopted family), continuing a long-distance relationship, or simply trying to plant roots in a place and make it your home. I think the most we can do is to live in the moment. And live both well and fully.
It just proceeds as if it has no cares in the world. As if we do, in fact, just have to keep on living. And keeping asking questions. And keep waiting on responses. And keep on living until something eventually happens.
Life can be quite scary though - think of how constantly we are forced to change up what we're doing, where we are, who we're closest to. And change is frightening - and good. All at the same time.
What would we learn if we remained exactly as we are? No, we need to be shaken up a bit every now and then - it teaches us about who we are, about our strengths, about our weakness, about the people who really matter in our life.
Perhaps, you might even say, it teaches us to take chances. To realize that life is a never-ending course of change. First, we're living with our parents, then off at one school, then at the next, then we move to this job, then we move to take a new one, then eventually, we're left in a retirement home or if we're lucky, back with our own sons and daughters. Well I certainly can't pretend to know the turbulence of life yet, for I've only got 21 years under my belt, I can predict that in spite of the turbulence, it's taking chances that will make the journey worthwhile.
There's always going to be difficulties in life, whether it be worries about making new friends after a move, moving away from a support network of family (or adopted family), continuing a long-distance relationship, or simply trying to plant roots in a place and make it your home. I think the most we can do is to live in the moment. And live both well and fully.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
I am
In response to a Times inquiry on “what’s wrong with the world,” G. K. Chesterton wrote, “I am.”
Succinct – yet its truth rings clear. We each have a role, however big or small this may be. There are many problems in this world: Poverty, disease, war, misogyny, racism, homophobia, climate change, homelessness, slavery, fear. Our role in creating, perpetuating, or ending them begins and finishes with us.
This world is designed to be competitive. The majority of us are taught this from day one to be sportier, stronger, smarter, popular, charismatic “We are ‘rational, self-interested’ beings,” says the economist. “Survival of the fittest,” says the evolutionary biologist. I don’t need to tell you where this comes from – one blames white males. Another blames capitalism. Another blames simple scientific biology that states we have a competitive nature, built into us to survive.
But maybe not. Let’s take a look, for example, at my family. As a baby, my parents did not compete with me for my food, my housing, or my clothes. I was a crying, pooping, runt of a creature, but they loved me. They provided for me. We ‘cooperated’ to survive.
Kropotkin suggested that human society was able to thrive and evolve because of a tendency towards cooperation, towards love and compassion for one another. We can look to food banks, women’s shelters, Big Brother programs, breakfast programs, NGOs, peace and healing circles, not for profit hospitals, community gardens, and rehabilitation centers. There is a need to recognize the human capacity for good in this world. To recognize that there is, indeed, hope. That we need not always ‘compete’ for ‘success’ – whatever that even means – and instead, cooperate towards a society that we can all feel proud to live in.
They say that money is the root of all evil. I think we all realize that this is wrong – to an extent. The person living in destitute poverty, whose children are starving, cannot afford decent healthcare, or access to housing in a good neighbourhood will very likely realize that money is, in fact, quite a good thing. But once these needs are filled, and you’re left in a life of excess, then what are we doing with this money? Buying exotic artwork? Filling the house with trinkets, gold pottery, fancy furniture, wearing your fortune on your necks or your wrists? Cooperation with society does not thrive in such environments. And, indeed, this money is serving only to isolate you more and more from humanity, and increasingly in yourself. Until you’re left alone.
Many of us compete for ‘distinctions’, recognitions that state our ‘success’ in the world. Great! But make sure that you don’t fill your head with the idea that this is the only the result of you – this is the result of your teachers, your parents, your friends, and everyone else who has given you the knowledge, the questions, the attitudes, the discipline, and the encouragement to succeed. Recognize that one’s success is the result of the whole working together – and try to give back accordingly.
At the end of my life, when it comes to answer the question, “what is wrong with this world?”, my answer will surely be “I am.” But I hope, that in some minute way, that when asked what is right with this world, I can answer “We are.”
Succinct – yet its truth rings clear. We each have a role, however big or small this may be. There are many problems in this world: Poverty, disease, war, misogyny, racism, homophobia, climate change, homelessness, slavery, fear. Our role in creating, perpetuating, or ending them begins and finishes with us.
This world is designed to be competitive. The majority of us are taught this from day one to be sportier, stronger, smarter, popular, charismatic “We are ‘rational, self-interested’ beings,” says the economist. “Survival of the fittest,” says the evolutionary biologist. I don’t need to tell you where this comes from – one blames white males. Another blames capitalism. Another blames simple scientific biology that states we have a competitive nature, built into us to survive.
But maybe not. Let’s take a look, for example, at my family. As a baby, my parents did not compete with me for my food, my housing, or my clothes. I was a crying, pooping, runt of a creature, but they loved me. They provided for me. We ‘cooperated’ to survive.
Kropotkin suggested that human society was able to thrive and evolve because of a tendency towards cooperation, towards love and compassion for one another. We can look to food banks, women’s shelters, Big Brother programs, breakfast programs, NGOs, peace and healing circles, not for profit hospitals, community gardens, and rehabilitation centers. There is a need to recognize the human capacity for good in this world. To recognize that there is, indeed, hope. That we need not always ‘compete’ for ‘success’ – whatever that even means – and instead, cooperate towards a society that we can all feel proud to live in.
They say that money is the root of all evil. I think we all realize that this is wrong – to an extent. The person living in destitute poverty, whose children are starving, cannot afford decent healthcare, or access to housing in a good neighbourhood will very likely realize that money is, in fact, quite a good thing. But once these needs are filled, and you’re left in a life of excess, then what are we doing with this money? Buying exotic artwork? Filling the house with trinkets, gold pottery, fancy furniture, wearing your fortune on your necks or your wrists? Cooperation with society does not thrive in such environments. And, indeed, this money is serving only to isolate you more and more from humanity, and increasingly in yourself. Until you’re left alone.
Many of us compete for ‘distinctions’, recognitions that state our ‘success’ in the world. Great! But make sure that you don’t fill your head with the idea that this is the only the result of you – this is the result of your teachers, your parents, your friends, and everyone else who has given you the knowledge, the questions, the attitudes, the discipline, and the encouragement to succeed. Recognize that one’s success is the result of the whole working together – and try to give back accordingly.
At the end of my life, when it comes to answer the question, “what is wrong with this world?”, my answer will surely be “I am.” But I hope, that in some minute way, that when asked what is right with this world, I can answer “We are.”
Sunday, April 15, 2012
On introversion. And proving Mr. Cooper wrong.
I still remember when I was eleven years old, and the principal called me and another student down to the office to meet with him. He told us that he wanted to start up a school newspaper, and had called upon us bright chipper young chaps to try and start up the paper. Without much more detail, he paused. And, not really knowing what to say, I kind of just looked at him.
Well, that didn't go over so well. "Why aren't you asking any questions?" he said. "Real journalists ask all kinds of questions. You're not looking like very good material here."
So I just kind of shrunk back and decided that if that's what he thought, well, I'm not going to work for someone who doesn't believe in me anyways. And I just pretty much stopped talking and left the office. Done deal - little to say that I never got to be part of the school paper. Not that I really cared. I hadn't even known why I was going into the office in the first place. And then here he was. Telling me what to do, how I was to do it, and expecting me to just be okay with it. I was eleven for peats sake! Give me a little slack sir - I don't function well when people criticize me before even giving me a chance. And I don't think I was the only child who felt that way.
Well sorry Mr. Cooper. But I'm doing a Masters in Journalism. So HA!
Sorry about that - getting the anger out. phew. Okay, all this to say that people cannot just look at someone and then decide who they are. I'm an introvert. I'm not a 'rah-rah' individual. I don't charge into a room and command everyone's attention. I will not be the first person to respond in a group conversation. I don't function well in big group settings by myself. I won't jump in and ask a bunch of questions. But that doesn't make me a bad journalist. It makes me a thinker - slow to act, quick to listen. And such is how I prefer conversations, how I've always preferred conversations. They're much more real when you grow to understand who the other person is before you jump down their necks with questions. And generally better prepared if you take time to think through an interview before you begin it.
I work for the student newspaper now, and they gave me the award "The Venus Fly Trap," because they said I was sweet, and kind, and quiet, but when I go into my interviews, I bite if you don't give me the answer that I need. I know when someone's lying, or when they're just trying to cop out, and I'll call them on it.
So voila. This is how I function - you don't know what I'm capable of until you give me a chance.
Well, that didn't go over so well. "Why aren't you asking any questions?" he said. "Real journalists ask all kinds of questions. You're not looking like very good material here."
So I just kind of shrunk back and decided that if that's what he thought, well, I'm not going to work for someone who doesn't believe in me anyways. And I just pretty much stopped talking and left the office. Done deal - little to say that I never got to be part of the school paper. Not that I really cared. I hadn't even known why I was going into the office in the first place. And then here he was. Telling me what to do, how I was to do it, and expecting me to just be okay with it. I was eleven for peats sake! Give me a little slack sir - I don't function well when people criticize me before even giving me a chance. And I don't think I was the only child who felt that way.
Well sorry Mr. Cooper. But I'm doing a Masters in Journalism. So HA!
Sorry about that - getting the anger out. phew. Okay, all this to say that people cannot just look at someone and then decide who they are. I'm an introvert. I'm not a 'rah-rah' individual. I don't charge into a room and command everyone's attention. I will not be the first person to respond in a group conversation. I don't function well in big group settings by myself. I won't jump in and ask a bunch of questions. But that doesn't make me a bad journalist. It makes me a thinker - slow to act, quick to listen. And such is how I prefer conversations, how I've always preferred conversations. They're much more real when you grow to understand who the other person is before you jump down their necks with questions. And generally better prepared if you take time to think through an interview before you begin it.
I work for the student newspaper now, and they gave me the award "The Venus Fly Trap," because they said I was sweet, and kind, and quiet, but when I go into my interviews, I bite if you don't give me the answer that I need. I know when someone's lying, or when they're just trying to cop out, and I'll call them on it.
So voila. This is how I function - you don't know what I'm capable of until you give me a chance.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Silence.
I went for a walk the other night after 10 with the intention of being home in 15 minutes. I ended up going for an hour-long walk, barely even noticing the time pass.
It was beautiful - the air was fresh, it was the perfect temperature, and there's was very little snow on the ground to cause me to do the usual trip and slip on the frozen ice. But what hypnotized me, what drew me to keep walking, was the silence.
The lack of screaming students, endless conversations, music blaring, etc. brought out all these sounds I'm so rarely aware of. I could hear every time a leaf scuttled across the road, every time a breeze came by and shook the trees, the distant sound of a dog barking, and another dog answering him in return, I could hear the wind, the buzzing of the lights, and my own steps on the ground. Crazy how very comforting it was. As if I was finally aware of my own thoughts. As if my walk was one of an observer of this beautiful scene, rather than a participant. Which was a little bit wonderful.
We're so often overwhelmed with 'living.' There's always something going on, we're running around from here to there, doing this and that, that we're never 'present' in the moment. We're unaware of what's going on 'around' us, and only aware of what's going on with 'us'. It's important to spend time in silence. To think. To spend time in silence. To listen for... something. Someone.
Let's find the silence and spend time in contemplation.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
To an unnamed friend
I occasionally wish I could adopt one of my professors as my mother, or grandmother perhaps.
What an inspiration to me - Never before have a met someone so humble, so giving, so encouraging, and so full of hope, strength, and perseverance. If I grow up to be half, even a quarter of the woman she is, then I think I've achieved great things in my life. As a woman who has done immense things in global politics, who has changed the world's very way of thinking in many ways, she is both quiet, pensive, and humble. She gives me hope, and has taught me so much about life, about what to do in the midst of struggle, about standing up for what we believe in, about being a strong and respected woman in the face of a patriarchal system, about staying humble in the midst of fame, and about... hope in the face of great challenges.
I've gone through much of University, wondering what I've really learned, gaining all this head knowledge and wondering where the heart comes in. I think God has brought her into my life to show that there is hope.
We all need to look for heart knowledge. Learn to love, learn to persevere, learn to forgive, learn to have hope.
What an inspiration to me - Never before have a met someone so humble, so giving, so encouraging, and so full of hope, strength, and perseverance. If I grow up to be half, even a quarter of the woman she is, then I think I've achieved great things in my life. As a woman who has done immense things in global politics, who has changed the world's very way of thinking in many ways, she is both quiet, pensive, and humble. She gives me hope, and has taught me so much about life, about what to do in the midst of struggle, about standing up for what we believe in, about being a strong and respected woman in the face of a patriarchal system, about staying humble in the midst of fame, and about... hope in the face of great challenges.
I've gone through much of University, wondering what I've really learned, gaining all this head knowledge and wondering where the heart comes in. I think God has brought her into my life to show that there is hope.
We all need to look for heart knowledge. Learn to love, learn to persevere, learn to forgive, learn to have hope.
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