Where's the Christian Today?

So many times in the church, in testimonies, in the regular sin sermons, I hear preached that, "I was leading a life of drugs, drinking, and sex, and then met God." Or the preacher models the life of sin by using examples of getting drunk and high. Those are wrong, most definitely, but there is a much greater, deeper sin that seems to pervade our humanity and most definitely has strong roots in our culture. It is perhaps so much a part of our lives that many people just accept it and continue on living, giving themselves a pat on the back for abstaining from alcohol and drugs, as if this is our only pursuit.

I believe that to follow Christ is to have a much higher calling than that. Or perhaps, a much lower calling, depending on your perspective. ;) Reading passages like Matthew 25, James 4: 17, James 5, Micah 6:8, Deuteronomy 24:17, Psalm 140:12, Isaiah 1:17, and so many others, I have to ponder, is the church - by which I am referring to the PEOPLE which makes up Christ's hands, feet, eyes, ears - really aware that in our pursuit of individual success, wealth, recognition, in our pursuit of a nice car, the three story house with four bathrooms, five bedrooms, a dining room, a kitchen, a living room, a family room, and a who knows what room, that we have completely lost sight of God's objective?! WE'RE COMPLETELY NUTS! We're living, no - we are rolling around - no. we are BASKING in our sin, and loving it.

For the rich are blessed by the hands of God, and the money we are given should be used for His purposes alone. Christ said to take up our cross and follow him. The cross is not a crown, it is not a source of pride or success or renown. It is a source of servanthood, of denying the present life for a future one, and anxiously living through this life, in humble obedience to God's will, and patient anticipating a life much better to come. We are called to live below our means. We are called to make choices that reflect a humble reflection that God is working in our lives for a purpose far greater than this present life.

We are called to take home the homeless, to give an extra sweater to the street kid, to buy clothes that were not made with the bloody hands of an overworked five-year-old, to forgive and befriend those who hate us, ridicule us, hurt us. We are to live as and with the poor. To be the ones who imitate the homelessness of the Saviour we worship, to imitate the selflessness of the one who healed the lepers, to imitate the love and humility of the one who died for me while I was still mocking him.

Immense is the sin in which we deny our poor brothers and sisters the love of Christ, in which we turn away the mourners, the sick, the prostitutes, the gays, and claim that we did so in the name of God.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." -Hebrew 12:1

Word to my Mother

To the spunky woman whose always ready for a chat and whose laugh can be heard 10 miles down the road:

Thank-you for holding my hand when I crossed the road and for teaching me to look both ways before I crossed the street.
Thank-you for putting up my pictures on the fridge (and not laughing), even when they were embarrassingly bad.
Thank-you for baking cookies with me as a child, letting me press my fork into the peanut butter ones, and lick the bowl after.
Thank-you for all the hugs and kisses.
Thank-you for nagging me to do my laundry and take the 'mess' out of my so-called "organized mess" of clothing heaps.
Thank-you for your sound advice, and letting me make mistakes anyways.
Thank-you for putting a reality check in my imaginative and day-dreaming mind.
Thank-you for teaching me the art of patience, which I have yet to perfect.
Thank-you for your smiles and laughs, and surprising me with your unexpected jokes.
Thank-you for never complaining about my university expenses, which I desperately hope to pay back to you someday.
Thank-you for the hug I can always count on when I come off the plane.
Thank-you for the long conversations when I call home crying about school, someone whose hurt me, stress, and worries, and gently reminding me that life goes on and it's not so bad.
Thank-you for loving me when I'm far less than perfect.
Thank-you for giving me my independence and letting me learn to be my own person.

Thank-you for being my mom, and a darn good one at that.
Love you lots - Happy Mother's Day!

On the Complex Infrastructure known as the Female Mind

Girls are so interesting.
I love them.
I AM one.

But sometimes we REALLY suck. Orrrrr.... we're just weird, and awkward, and mean. Yes, we are mean. Guys can be pretty mean too, but girls are mean to their own friends, and it sucks. And you want to know what 80% of fights, if not 90% of fights are over?? Boys. The male race is the source of cat fights everywhere. Thank-you boys.

Listen up females! Girls are your arm swinging, puddle jumping, shoulder crying, facial painting, song screaming, heart sharing friends, and we are hard to replace. Us women know how to have fun together - and we are pretty too. lol. I rarely laugh to the point of crying with a guy, but many a time have I fallen on the floor in pain from my abs scrunching up after laughing to the point of tears running down my face with a group of girls. We're just pretty awesome. I love girls.

But girls, sometimes we need to shape up a bit. We are no longer designated housewives whose sole purpose is to serve the husband and get pregnant. We have freedom! We can live our lives independent of husbands. We can support ourselves in whatever job we well please to do. We can become successful individuals all by ourselves! Woot woot! So why are we still living as if getting a boyfriend or husband is our sole purpose in life? (And if not SOLE purpose, at least it's up there in most peoples' lives.)

Girls, stop obsessing over guys and appreciate the gal friends you have. They're pretty awesome and they have super interesting lives too. And PLEASE, if you meet a guy, and then meet his sister, please treat her like a person, not like his sister. It's soooooo annoying. Pretty much, that's my greatest pet peeve. Seriously! I like to think that I have a pretty interesting life. My brother does too, and I'm proud as a goose of him, but when you meet me, please don't ask me about his life. When I'm talking to you, I'd like to meet you and you to meet me - not my brother thanks. Yep, so here's my challenge girls, and it's as much my problem as anyone else's: Try to keep your crushes out of the conversation when meeting someone for the first time. Just get to know who THEY are. I bet you'll think they have a pretty awesome story if you give it a chance. OH! And be sure to spend time with your own friends if you like a guy. It hurts to be a friend ditched for a guy you just met.

Coolio. Peace!

To Ecletic Music Tastes :)

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like a menopausal woman when it comes to music. Seriously. I used to like one type of music, or at the very least have a favourite type of music. Maybe I still do... But it seems like more and more, my playlists look like this (and yes, this is actually from one of my real playlists):

1. Good Morning Heartache - Billie Holiday
2. Handcuffs - Brand New
3. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
4. I Gotta Feelin' - Black Eyed Peas
5. Konstantine - Something Corporate
6. Landslide - Dixie Chicks
7. Nowhere With You - Joel Plaskett

I'm fairly sure I just covered about every genre out there in 7 songs - minus the screamo - although I've even started listening to some of that too. Yes, my music tastes have gone completely nuts. But I love it anyways, hahaha.

There's something to appreciate in each genre, or perhaps in each song, or each artist, or in each set of song lyrics. However you would like to distinguish one piece from another.

Example: Taylor Swift is probably one of the lamest music artists ever. Seriously girlfriend, get a life-you don't need a man. Be independent - and be happy because you are. ;) There's more to life than broken hearts. And if you really like that guy, just tell him, don't write a sappy song about it. ... Yet, I know every one of the lyrics to her songs and they are just sooo catchy. Plus, when I'm in a particularly romantic/love-sick mood, some Taylor Swift always ends up playing and I end up belting out the lyrics along to it.

Brand New. Not a particularly musically-talented band. In fact, the singer could use some voice lessons. BUT I love them. They're in my top three favourite music artists of all-time. Their lyrics are amazing and the tunes are just... I don't know, perfect. I like it!

Moving on. Black Eyed Peas. Pretty... sexist. I'd rather not hear about your stupid "good night" or that sexy chick you met drunk at the bar. But then again, I could dance like a wild woman to all of their songs, and love tossing my hair around as I jump up and down to Boom Boom Pow. lol. Plus, One Tribe and Where is the Love? are preeettttttyyyy great songs. (I know all the lyrics... yes. that's right. I rap in my car)

And of course, how could I forget the voice of one of the best singers of all time? Billie Holiday! The best jazz singer of her time, and a fighter nonetheless. I'll be Seeing You, April in Paris, and Dream a Little Dream of Me get me every time. What a singer.

Oh! What to do when your tastes run from country to indie to pop to jazz to rock. Well, embrace them all! It's much more fun that way. ;)

To the end of one more year of university, and the beginning of something New :)

The end of my second year is coming to an end, and all I have left now is to finish a paper and write two exams. Then all will be done, and I will officially be going into my third year of study. It's crazy to think about - that I'm actually this old. :S Wow. I suppose it has to come some time or another.

Well, to everyone who's been a part of this past year, thank-you for making it into one of the best ever. I've made some amazing friends, developed my past friendships even better, and done some pretty crazy things.

For Becca, you have been a superb friend and one of the sweetest girls ever. I'm so happy I got to know you!! Plus, I am PUMPED to live with you next winter!! We will have some killer adventures together, hehehe:D

For Jennie bunny, Mary bear, Magoo, Courtney, and Michael, you guys are the best friends ever!! I love you guys all to death and wish I could bring you all home for the summer with me. I guess a visit from Mary and Jennie boo will have to do!! WOOOHOOO!

TO my wonderful German friend Johannes, I am going to miss you terribly when you leave. You've been such a good friend to me, and I really appreciate our long walks in Waterfowl and down Bridge Street. I'll never forget Ratty. lol. Or the crazy adventure on the railway tracks, hahaha. You scared, you scared! lol. I certainly hope that I get the chance to see you again, whether it be in Germany, England, or Canada. :)

To all my other indescribable friends, Keleigh, Rebecca, Phil, Courtney, Ashley, Kristie, Melissa, Vanessa, gahhh... I'm going to miss so many names, and I'm soooo sorry if I didn't mention you and you read this, boy would I feel stupid, but each of you have really made my second year of Mount A beyond belief. I'm so pumped to come back next year and see all of you again!! Hurray!

Well, one things for sure. It's the people that make the experience, and everyone at Mount A has certainly made mine one I'll never ever forget. can't wait to see what's in store for next year!!! Here comes the summer sun! I'm ready and set for it, then once the fall comes, I'll press the go button again and speed off into a new adventure and see what happens. Hope you can all be part of it!! :)

xoxoxo

Amazing Grace

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
This is your life, are you who you want to be? - Switchfoot

Who am I?

I could answer this question in a number of ways. My name is Rachel Gardner. I am a second year university student studying International Relations. I am the organizer of blah blah blah. I am the daughter of so and so. I am the sister of so and so.

I could also answer this with the generic statement - I am a Christian. Kind of a blanket statement for my beliefs - God is my saviour (like actually-he saved me from myself), Jesus is my greatest love and redeemer. I believe that the Bible is God's love letter to me, that it's his story of how I'm a ruined person, but he came and loved me despite that.

All that sounds fantastic, and quite inspiring really. But I'm more than that. I am a person who makes some silly mistakes and quite often at that. I'm a big fat failure most of the time. And despite the fact that I claim to love God with all my heart, I seem to always fall short of getting my feet, my hands, my mouth, my thoughts to follow along with these claims. So I guess I'm a hypocrite too.

The song lyrics that I put up on this blog remind me constantly to question myself. -Am I who I want to be? God has some hefty standards for me to follow. The love ethic shown by Christ seems near impossible for me to follow, but I want to so badly. Why is it that I always feel as if I've fallen short? I'm reminded right now of Paul in Romans 7 where he... well, I'll just show you.

Romans 7:14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Gah! Paul, I understand now exactly how you feel. There is this part of me that desires so badly to be everything for God and I'm constantly depressed because I fall so short of it. I guess I can find hope in Paul's next verse. "25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Without Christ, I would be nothing. Indeed, his Grace is completed undeserved, and I thank God with all my heart for having given everything for someone so unworthy such as myself. It's so amazing that despite the fact that Jesus knows me, knows my heart, my mind, my strength, that he still loves me.

"Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see."

-Thank-you Lord for saving a hypocrite like me!

I AM A FEMINIST! Woohoo!

So I'm awake here at 4:45 am and as I was just dreaming about feminism (hahaha), I had a deep urge to come online and rant about it.

I am a feminist. And for all those women out there who I continually hear saying "I hate feminists", you can bite me. I'm frustrated by the fact that modern women have very little appreciation for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today, given to us by... FEMINISTS! Yes, it was the feminists who gave us the right to vote in the 1920s, and the feminists who allowed us to have greater rights outside of the home in the 1960s. If you want to thank someone for being accepted into university, thanks the feminists of the 1960s, who fought for women's rights to be recognized as more than a housewife or a mother - to be seen as an individual, capable of contributing to the society around her.

I might add that the definition of feminism is the belief that men and women should be equal. So if you aren't a feminist, I'm going to say that you are somewhat... chauvinistic, unless you're a women, in which case, you are just sad. I'm not finishing my argument here though, because some people when I mention this definition, will go on to say, "Oh. Well, I agree. But I don't agree with RADICAL feminism - We've gotten all the rights we need right now and can't go any farther."

HALT! Did you know that women earn 70% of men in CANADA?? Yes, right here! And not based on labour differences, this is 70% of men for the same job. We needn't look any further than our own homes (most of the time-mine's pretty radical, although I'm still trying to convince my dad he's a feminist. figures.) to see the entrenched gender roles of our own society. Did your mom do the cooking and cleaning for you (most likely, all the while also managing a job and picking up the kids) while Dad brought home the bacon? Normal, right. WHY? Why is that normal?? Why can't the Dad be the one cooking? Why can't Dad be the one cleaning? And don't you dare venture to say that men can't cook or clean. I have one of the finest fathers who does both. I could also mention that Emeril, Mario Battali, Michael Smith, and Jamie Oliver would be quite offended by that statement.

This past Valentine's Day, 5 000 people gathered in Vancouver (during the Olympics I might add, although I certainly don't remember hearing about this) for the 19th annual memorial of Canada's 3 000 missing Aboriginal women. Some lost due to targeted ethnic and gender violence, some to domestic violence, this day attempts to bring forward this unaccounted for issue to the government. Although perhaps it has finally heard their cries, for it was mentioned in the Throne Speech last Wednesday.

I could go on and on, telling you about women's issues all over the world, and the importance of feminism today, but I will stop here as I think I will attempt to sleep some more before my 8:30 class. Hahaha. In the end, all I want people to know is that there is nothing wrong with being a feminist, or admitting that you ARE one. I'm proud to be a feminist and defend my stance with great passion because I know that women's issues are important and I am grateful to those women who helped me achieve the things I was able to today.

So thank-you to my feminist predecessors. And good night.